Most parents experience relationship issues at some time and it is important to think about how to avoid problems to make your family stronger. Watch the video to learn about relationship issues and develop your listening skills and vocabulary as you complete the activities.
▶Task 1 - true or false?
▶Task 2 - comprehension
▶Task 3 - vocabulary
▶Task 4 - summary
I think for modern parents where, you know, you’ve got work and then you’ve got time at home and the two seem to be in competition and, because people want to do the best thing for their kids, they forget that one of the best things they can do for their kids is to have a strong relationship.
If you’re not relaxed and happy in your relationship with your partner, then I think, obviously your stress level, that shows in your relationship with your kids.
TOP TIPS Make time for you and your partner.
When you find that there is a bit of time and you could spend it with your partner, the important thing is to do something different and not to do same old, same old, because by doing something different together, you’re experiencing something fresh and you’re both discovering something about each other.
TOP TIPS Make time for family and friends.
Being a parent’s a difficult job and so it’s important to have that wider, family and friends, whatever that looks like for you, that can be that support network when you perhaps just need a little bit of extra TLC or just need someone to talk to or just need somebody to go out and have a good laugh with.
I have my own time. And there are things that I go off and do that are separate from my partner and my children. I need that for my esteem – If I’m feeling strong and rewarded and happy in my life, then I’m in a better position to be with a partner and with the children and help them be the same.
So you need different types of time: me time, us time and time with others.
TOP TIPS Recognise and accept your own flaws and faults.
Obviously things don’t always go well. That’s life isn’t it. Sometimes you think, ‘Oh, I can’t do this anymore’ but you get over it, work through it together and hopefully you know you get there in the end.
Once you get to know someone, they can get on your nerves, because they keep on doing the things that you don’t like. And the best way of dealing with that really is to think about the flipside. So, for example, you know, he’s untidy or she spends money too easily. The other side of that: he’s easygoing, doesn’t expect to have the house looking perfect, or, you know, she’s generous, she likes to go and buy me a present. There is always a positive flipside.
Sometimes it’s good to just be quiet and listen, rather than react.
TOP TIP Work out common ground and focus on the positives.
Be aware of the positive things. We tend to get rather preoccupied with things that are not working. And to remind yourself of the things that you like about your partner and the ways in which you have fun together and enjoy things.
In the past we got in a bad habit of trying to point score about who was having the worst time of it, whether it be the person going to work or the person staying at home. So I think it’s moving away from that point-scoring, who’s got the worst deal thing.
One of the key things that happens with parents is they get into this kind of almost a poker game, which is who has it hardest? You need, actually, to sort of turn it into ‘our joint project’ which is how are we going to do it and how are we going to have a bit of time to have some fun?
Really important to schedule some time for intimacy and for sex as well. I think as parents we can often feel a little bit ‘I don’t want to schedule sex!’ –well, you don’t necessarily have to schedule it, but schedule some time to be together, where actually you can be intimate.
Getting a bit of time out where there are just you and you’re away from the kids.
It’s about understanding of each other’s needs.
Put a bit of energy into thinking about how do we take away the distractions, create some space where we can communicate. I think it’s really important as guys we remember foreplay begins well before the bedroom and it’s about that whole relationship that’s going on between us and our partner.
Make time for yourself and each other. Recognise and accept each other’s flaws. Make time for intimacy.
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Family Lives is a charity which aims to support families living in the UK. You can visit their website here http://www.familylives.org.uk.